Frank in his own words
You already know that Frank West has covered wars. Beyond that though not a lot is known about the man behind the camera who unveiled the government's involvement in the zombie outbreaks. As he heads off to this years San Diego Comic Con to promote his upcoming game Dead Rising 4 Frank West sat down with us for an exclusive look behind the lens. West is... ummm... frank and brutally honest in this once in a lifetime interview.
Job: Photojournalist Age: Okay, that’s enough questions. Education: I try to avoid it. Hair: Perfectly coal-black throughout. You shut up. Skin: Thick and creamy. Jacket: Waterproof. For obvious reasons. Shirt: Only because you can’t handle the truth. Voice: Kinda hoarse. You know that tickle you get? Back in the – yeah, right there. Knees: Still a little bendy. Knuckles: Battered, but I moisturize. Eyes: Piercing. Pensive. Frank. Nose: Bent like a wizard’s staff. Tattoos: Can’t remember. Pants: Today, yes. Build: Community wrestling champ. Smell: What? Eyebrows: Disapproving. Camera: Pretty much the only thing here that knows what it’s doing. Middle Name: Algernon. Mom never told me why. Ask her if you want. She’s out on parole in a few years. Grade School Nickname: Wank. Don’t tell anyone.
Preferred Weapons in a Zombie Outbreak
Bat: Good for hitting stuff. Metal Bat: To be honest, I kinda hate baseball. I don’t know why it’s always bats. Spiked Bat: They’re long and smashy, I’ll give ‘em that. Bazooka Cannon: For backup. Swordfish: Sometimes you just need the right tool for the right job. Bowie Knife: For shaving my nose. Lucky Cat: These things scare the crap out of me. Just look at those eyes. And the little wavy hand. Yeesh. Ukulele: Great for anytime-smashing. Don’t wait for the apocalypse. Halberd: Good for getting those hard-to-reach zombies. Warhammer: For when you absolutely need to get zombie everywhere. Greatsword: Come on, it’s an okay sword at best. Rifle Musket: But only if there’s like one zombie per square mile. Yoga Mat: For taking a nap between massacres. Fish Launcher: Self-explanatory. Flaming Triceratops Helmet: So absurd it just might rock.
How many wars have you covered?: Like, so many. Don’t even get me started. What was your impression of Fortune City?: Sorry, that’s off the record. What have you been up to since the 2006 Willamette outbreak?: Little teaching. Collecting old coins. Mini golf. Spending old coins. Tax evasion. You know. Usual stuff. Advice on taking a good selfie?: Start with a good subject. I’ll let you work on that. How many books have you sold?: None, thankfully. It hasn’t got that bad yet. As for my publisher, you could ask him, but he’s a serial liar. At least I assume he is. Favourite place to eat?: Anyplace that doesn’t serve meat and spaghetti sauce together. How many zombies have you killed?: “Killed” is a harsh term. I prefer smashified. And I lost track after 53, 594. What’s the best tactic for ending an outbreak?: Firebombing the entire city. Preferably from some place outside the city limits.
Best Places to Shoot on a Zombie
Head: No. Leave the face intact so you see the expression when you shoot it in the groin. Elbow: Are you trying to kill it or annoy it? Knees: Knees are good. Crawling zombies are damn hilarious. Gut: You don’t want to see that. Almost no one gets zombified with an empty rectum. Center-Mass: Yeah, I guess. If you want to be super boring about it. Groin: If it still exists, yes. Foot: Yes. Definitely. Because they try that one step after and… *chuckles* … and then… *laughing* … they fall on their… *laugh-crying* … Sorry, gimme a minute… *laugh-weeping*